Staying connected when life pulls us apart
Hi, I’m Omar, the founder and CEO of Kinnect. This blog is part of my "From Omar" series, where I share my reflections on family, relationships, and connection. These thoughts aren’t always polished or packaged as life lessons — sometimes, they’re just honest reflections on the things I’m learning as I build this company and think about what connection really means.
There’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. It’s this idea that even though we may not talk to certain people as much as we used to — or maybe we don’t talk to them at all — we still feel connected to them. It’s not a full connection, but it’s something.
Social media plays a big role in that. You see someone’s wedding photos, their vacation highlights, or their kids growing up. And suddenly, it feels like you’re still part of their life, even if you haven’t spoken directly in months or years. But the thing is — are you really?
Cheap connections vs. real ones
I’ve been thinking about this concept of “cheap connection” versus real connection.
When I say “cheap connection,” I don’t mean it in a negative way. I’m talking about the type of connection that’s lightweight, like seeing someone’s Instagram Story or scrolling past their Facebook post. It’s the illusion of being close. It’s seeing a post and thinking, “Oh, they’re doing well,” but never actually asking, “How are you really doing?”
Here’s the problem: Social media gives us just enough of a connection to feel like we don’t need to do more. We see someone’s story and think we’ve checked in on them. We get this quick, surface-level update that makes us feel like we’re still in the loop. But are we?
I’ve fallen for this trap myself. I have friends that I deeply love but haven’t spoken to in months, sometimes years. I see them on Instagram. I see that they’re traveling, that their kids are getting older, that they’re still showing up in the world. And because of that, I convince myself that I know how they’re doing.
But here’s the truth: I don’t.
I don’t know if they’re feeling lonely as they adjust to being a parent. I don’t know if their relationship is thriving or struggling. I don’t know if that photo from the trip they posted was actually one of their happiest days or just a highlight from a week that was otherwise really hard.
And if I’m being honest, they probably don’t know that about me either.
The weight of growing responsibilities
I recently saw a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time. We were close once. They were part of my daily life at one point. But, like so many relationships, time shifted us. We live in different cities now. Life got full for both of us. They had kids. I started building a company.
Seeing them again was emotional. It was a reminder that no matter how much life changes, certain people will always feel like home.
But it also reminded me of how much I don’t know about what they’re going through. I’m not there for the daily moments — the diaper changes, the midnight feedings, the exhaustion, the joy, the little shifts in identity that happen as you grow into being a parent.
I think about this a lot when it comes to family too. What parts of their lives am I missing? Am I relying on social media to fill in the blanks for me?
Why we let relationships fade
Relationships don’t fade because we stop loving people. They fade because life gets loud.
People get married. They have kids. They move to new cities. They start new jobs. They take on more responsibility. And every time they do, they get pulled in a new direction.
That’s normal.
But sometimes, we also let relationships fade because it’s easier to rely on cheap connections. It’s easier to scroll than it is to call. It’s easier to assume someone’s okay because you saw their story than to ask them how they’re really feeling.
And I get it. I really do. Life is busy. But if I’ve learned anything from building Kinnect, it’s this:
The relationships that matter most require effort.
Effort to check in.
Effort to listen.
Effort to ask questions that go deeper than, “How’s work?”
And I know this isn’t new advice. You’ve probably heard it before. “Check in with your friends,” right? But here’s what I’m learning: It’s not just about checking in — it’s about how you check in.
How do we stay connected in a real way?
If you’re reading this and thinking, “Okay, I get it. But how do I actually stay connected?” — I’m with you. I’m still figuring it out too.
But here’s what I think can help:
- Create spaces where you can be real.
One of the things I love about Kinnect is that it’s invite-only. It’s not just anyone and everyone. It’s people you care about. And within that space, you can share your real life. You don’t have to present a highlight reel. You can be honest. Imagine if instead of just seeing your friend's family vacation photo, you got to hear them talk about it. Imagine if instead of seeing a birthday post for your cousin, you got to hear them reflect on the past year of their life. - Don’t wait for big events to reconnect.
Weddings, reunions, and funerals are usually where we "reconnect" with people. But we don’t have to wait for those moments. A simple message, a quick note, or even a shared story through Kinnect can make it easier to stay close. - Ask better questions.
Most of the time, our check-ins look like this:
“Hey, how are you?”
“Good, you?”
And that’s the end of it. But what if we asked better questions? Like:some text- “What’s something that’s been on your mind this week?”
- “What’s one thing you’re working on right now that’s exciting?”
- “What’s been the hardest part of your week so far?”
- Better questions lead to better conversations. Better conversations lead to better connections.
The role of Kinnect in all of this
Kinnect was never just about "memory books" or "digital storytelling." It’s about connection.
When I think about how we can help people stay close, I think about how Kinnect can serve as a tool for real connection. Not the surface-level connection you get from social media, but the kind of connection that lasts.
When people create Kinnect groups, they’re not just creating spaces for memory-sharing — they’re creating spaces for relationship-sharing. Spaces where people can see the real updates, not just the highlight reels. Spaces where you can hear someone’s voice, their reflections, their actual feelings.
That’s what makes me excited.
I think about the people I used to see every day but don’t anymore. People I love. People who love me back. And I think about how Kinnect could be the tool that helps us stay in each other’s lives in a real way — not just through stories on a screen, but through shared conversations, reflections, and updates that actually mean something.
What I’m thinking about now
I think about that friend I hadn’t seen in a long time. I think about the family I love but don’t talk to enough. I think about how, if I’m not careful, I’ll let myself believe that cheap connections are enough.
But they’re not.
They’re not enough for me. And I don’t think they’re enough for you either.
If I could leave you with one thing, it would be this: Don’t just check in. Create spaces for real connection.
If you have a friend you haven’t seen in a while, text them today. Ask them a better question. Ask them something real.
And if you’re like me, and you’re trying to stay close to the people who matter, know that it’s okay if it’s hard. It’s okay if you don’t have it all figured out yet. Relationships change. People change.
But they’re still worth it.
abrazos,
omar
